Forming Minds (PT1)

With being a mom there are so many responsibilities. I've come to realize there is so much that gets overlooked; such as, the personalities that we are helping form! Having six children I'm constantly trying to keep up with the differences of each personality that each of my children have! I mean having a nine "and a half" year old step-daughter, eight and a half year old son, a four year old step-son, twins, YES! twin three year olds daughters, and a three almost four month old daughter comes a lot of different personalities that I have to help build into being such beautiful people in this big, mean, ugly, and beautiful world! These generations today are so wild and I am counting on my children to make a small, but BIG change to their own generation! But here is the BIG question!!! HOW!?!

Forming Minds (PT2)

Something that I can say is a hit or miss when having a big, beautiful blended family is how we can successfully co-parent our children. Some, like I said completely over look the way we are contributing to our childrens personalities. I can only say I wish I had an easy co-parenting experience, but unfortunately I do not. The only thing I can do is my best when we have our children, and how I can contribute to making these littles in our life good people when they grow up. It's not always easy because we do not all see eye to eye on what is appropriate for our children. Some parents like the ones I deal with don't even see how they are affecting and forming their child's minds. I feel like my little, big family has to thrive hard because of the irrelevance that they go through, but shouldn't even have to witness! Yet still I'm here! I will not give up the view point that our children see when they are here with us! That we are strong parents, and that they are safe and loved always! These over looked view points help form who our children will be! Some parents are to selfish to step back and say "what is best for my child" and instead say "what is best for me!" Embedding their minds with selfishness, hate, and anger towards the wrong people!

Forming Minds (PT3)

Who do you want your child to grow up to be? I've seen to many times before in my own generation about how rebellious we were as children, and teenagers. And I say like so many others " look at how I turned out! Not so bad!" But every day I think " man I could of been better!" I'm not saying my own mother did a terrible job bringing me up, because she did her absolute best with what she was working with! The days and nights were not always rainbows and butterflies in my home, and I was far from a child with a golden spoon sort of say. As a teen my mother always kept her heart and mind open to me even when I didn't deserve it. She would always take my side even when I was truly wrong. Is this the way though? Do I do the same as my mother did with me? when I want so much more for them! I can say easily that her actions clearly formed who I am and the personality that I have.  I can say with full confidence, that I have learned so much from her. All the morals she tried to distill into me as a young adult. Unfortunately, they didn't all click until it was to late. I want more for my children! 

Introduction

With all this being said I would love to introduce you all to my world, my life, my reason why. 💜  I mentioned before I have four kids of my own and two step children! I want to point out since now early on to you all; that in our beautiful blended family we do not use the term step siblings or half in our home. We do not use the term step mom or step dad. Our children are free to call us what their heart desires when it comes to his to me, and mine to him. Either way we love all our children as our own.

I'd love to first introduce my partner Robert. The "brave man" as my grandmother calls him for taking on a woman with three kids. Robert is my biggest support. He is such a sweet guy.  He wears his heart on his sleeve most the time! Robert has been around the block, "sort of say" a couple of times like many of us have! He has experienced many life lessons that he intends to bring to the table when raising our babies. With intentions of who he wants them to be, based on how we parent and form their young minds. All of our children love their dad! I want to add right here, the twins call him papi. All the same just in Spanish. Something he is trying to teach them since now! 
Now I don't intend on prorating our relationship to be flawless and perfect, because he and I have encountered many trials together that we have over come, including a whole pandemic! Thanks Coronavirus! Being stuck together in our home we really learned a lot about each other with the realization that we love each other and we want one thing! To lead a happy home!

Ohhh how he looks at me! 🥰

Next I would like to introduce my little big boy! My son Emmanuel. I picked his name from the Bible. I know everyone out there isn't religious and that's ok. How you lead your life is none of anyone else's say so. Emmanuel is the name the angels gave Jesus to Joseph in his dreams before Jesus was born. Anyways! My Emmanuel is such a sweet boy. He truly cares about the world. He has used himself to shield a big dog from hurting a little girl he barely new. My brave, sweet guy has many sides to him. He is a boy of many talents growing up in a world that is far to cruel. When I think of parenting my son to form his personality it is to be as he is and to stand strong against the ones who attack him. Speaking of attacking him, his dad is trying to distill in his mind; not to ever over step boundaries to accommodate someone that would not do the same for him. To never give up on himself to appease someone else. We together are teaching him to think for himself and what he will get in return for doing so. In this journey with Emmanuel we have discovered that he is a boy that wants many friends, for everyone to know his name. 

Raising this little boy isn't easy! It's far from easy! There are good day and bad days! But one thing I find I need to do is stay consistent! A lot of parents over look structure in their childrens life. They give them their technology to confine their minds, so they can look the other way! I know that was such a blunt thing to say! Right!?, but who we fooling? I see it so much, and I to was guilty of this for to long! I seemed to notice that my son was on the verge of depression. The look in his eyes was not happiness to have this device. I stepped back and was in complete dispare. How did I let this happen? I blamed myself completely because I allowed myself to be an inconsistent mother to my child. No more though! So if anyone out there sees their child in a funk, this one is for you. Shared advice never hurt no one! So here is some do and don'ts.
On school nights I do not let him stay up all night with a 9pm bed time no more! Bed time is at 7:30pm, so he can be well rested for school the next day! I also do this so I don't have to drag him out of bed. I shouldn't have to shake up the bed to wake him up. I want my son to wake up nicely in hopes it leads him to have a great day. 
Emmanuel wakes up for school everyday at 6am gets himself ready for school. From there he has himself a light and balanced breakfast before he goes to catch the bus or I take him. I never let him leave me without a " I love you and have a good day!" Honestly it's so sweet to hear him tell me it back! 
When he gets home from school I ask him how his day was today. He will proceed to tell me he either had a good day, bad day, or terrible day, or super fun day. No matter how his day went I ask why it was this way and what did he learn. School is tough and long. Kind of like working is for us adults.

Sometimes you just need to relax. So when he comes home we relax for an hour or so. I give him free time to watch a movie, play outside, or be on his phone. I try to stay consistent at this part as this is the tricky part. When enough is enough.

I will give him his hour and it's time for chores. Yes chores! How will this help with depression in a child you ask? There are many benefits to it! He gets some at home exercise from taking the trash to learning how to be tidy and not messy. Messiness plays a huge role in kids with depression as it would anyone. 
Chores is also a time for praise, and who wouldn't Want to be told thank you for all your help you're doing such a great job. Chores is also time of earning you can earn money, points to go to special places during the weekend, or certain toys. What it does is give your child a form of control. Your child can control what he or she gets to do or have after chores by saving up money or saving up points.

After chores its homework time. In this house we do homework at the kitchen table. We do homework at the kitchen table to make it accessible for my son to reach one of his parents without distraction if he needs help. 
my sons homework is never too hard to help him with. He's in the third grade. The most homework that my son comes home with is math and reading. Math is what we do at the kitchen table. There's always about six questions. I allow him to complete all of them by himself so I can see where he's at myself. Once he is done me and his dad, mostly his dad uses this time to have one on one time with our son. He will go over the questions and help him work through them. 
Robert works all day. He works about 15 hour days. When he comes home from work he always says good morning to his children, no matter what time it is he says good morning. He says he says good morning because he doesn't get to tell them in the morning. Robert leaves to work around 4:30 or five in the morning. So by him coming home from a very long day at work he still makes time for his son. He gets About an hour with him a day. At this moment our son is now getting praise from both of his parents a day.

By the time he's done with chores and all done with homework it's dinner time. Dinner time usually takes place around five or 530. After dinner it's time for him to take a shower. Emmanuel picks out his clothes for school that night and lays them out for the next morning. He does this to make his mornings easier. He does this so he is ready. 
Once he is done showering it is time for bed. Are usually have him lay down around 7:15 PM and I like him to be asleep by 7:30 PM. If he's having a hard time going to sleep I will give him a melatonin vitamin to help him rest. At this time I will read his books to him. When I am done reading to him I always tell him good night and that I love him.
since doing this routine with my son I have noticed a change in his body language. He is more happy to be consistent with his daily life. He is also becoming more active and showing more interest in activities such as sports and crafts. He is wanting to get into football next season and has took up a skill of drawing. He is super good at it for not having drawing lessons. He is also creating videos on his YouTube page. I will share his YouTube like for other parents to see and show their own kids! That creativity has no bounds.
don't get me wrong this is only a Monday through Friday schedule. I have a whole other schedule for the weekend because our days are longer and more time as a family. But I will get to that later.